NASA Engineer Sociopath

by Eric
(U.S.A.)

Summer 2017, 5 months after I got divorced.

She came over at 5 a.m. driving 20 miles to my house in a t-shirt only. At the time I was thinking, hot damn, but little did I know what lay in store. We hit it off right away and when we kissed I felt like I had known her forever.

Within two weeks she wanted to be exclusive. She asked me to fly to Minnesota to see her parents at the end if the month and I agreed. Everything seemed so great although things were moving at breakneck speed. The family was toxic and her grandpa turned into a paranoid maniac after seeming friendly for a few days (should have been enough of a clue). Every time we went to see my folks, we would have to leave early because she started acting strangely.

Her phone demeanor was very authoritarian and sometimes after a normal interaction in person I would later receive angry texts.

Fast forward to June of 2018 and she asked me to move in with her. I agreed, but my gut said “I don’t know this is a good idea.” By mid July after a business trip to Houston, she came back and casually started saying, “I’m not sure our personalities mesh.” Then the negative behavior and mind games escalated. She also could go from 0 to 1000 in anger/rage.

I thought we could work things out, but I couldn't figure out why things were so trying. Then I get a long text saying that since I was stalling on couples counseling that I had to move out. Flabbergasted, I agreed to go. I finally realized that the problem was her personality and counseling wouldn’t help anything. Then every time I disagreed with her she threatened to throw me out on the street. I became a shell of myself.

Fast forward to the end of September, during a condo renovation, 6 days after she said 100% commitment at counseling in regards to our relationship and the day after my birthday, she threw me out and broke up with me and gave me 6 days to move out. She had her friend bring boxes over on Tuesday to "help" and as I was there at my wits end, she casually showed her friend the remodeling process and they went out to eat, not a care in the world.

The lack of empathy was astounding. She even gave me in her words "positive feedback" on the progress of me moving things out. The day before she demanded that I had to be out, she casually asked, “Can you come back to the condo at 4 p.m.?” The floor guy was coming and she wanted me to let him in. I said no.

Callous, destructive and delusional in the extreme, I can only say when you discover the real personality after the love bombing, run, don’t walk away!!!!

Red flags galore, but I thought, “Oh, it's a bad day…” or whatever. Temper tantrums, controlling, demands, threats, rage, perfectionism, toxic family, very few friends and on and on and on.

Thank God she kicked me out and I'm happy to report that 4 months later I'm progressing nicely (it's been hell, but I'm recovering). No contact, no contact, no contact. And erase all pictures, texts, emails and getting rid of all personal reminders, etc. Know it wasn't you and sociopaths are unfixable (and they don’t want to be helped anyway).

Thank you for all the wonderful information on your site.